111. The Power of Asking with Crystal & Mark Hansen

• Mark and Crystal Hansen joined the show to talk about their new book, Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny.
• Crystal opened talking about how the book begins, with a fable of a woman named Michaela, who lives a difficult life after losing her parents and everything she owns
• A being comes into her life and teaches her how to ask and build opportunities rather than staying afraid and constrained
• Mark chimed in about the genesis of the story, and how important it was to include it as it is in the book
• Mark is one of the authors of the Chicken Soup for The Soul series, which includes 309 best-selling books and is the number one selling series in the world
• Crystal is a transformational life coach, clinical hypnotherapist and author who focuses on helping people achieve their vision
• They met when Mark was speaking at an event her mother told her to attend, and they connected instantly, building a deep friendship long before getting married
• This project, Ask!, is the first book they’re writing together
• Asking helps us wake up, illuminate and open the paths to possibility
• There are three channels to asking that Crystal shared – asking yourself, asking others and asking God
• Those who don’t ask all three are missing things in their lives, so they endeavored to uncover why this tool to ask gets shut down in our lives
• Children are all born as master askers, yet as we grow up, we’re taught to suppress that and hold back – the ability to ask gets crushed and slowed down
• There are seven road blocks to asking, which all of us has at least one of those
  • Unworthiness
  • Naiveté
  • Doubt
  • Fear
  • Excuses
  • Pattern Paralysis
  • Disconnection
• When we’re stuck, it’s because we don’t have answers, so we may fear asking ourselves
• This can be a signal to ask why we don’t have answers rather than trying to ask for the answers themselves
• Three questions we can ask ourselves are, “Where am I? Where do I want to be? What actions do I need to take to get there?”
• The God part is about your destiny
• It can be hard to see what our destiny is, and this is what Mark and Crystal say we need to ask God
• Maybe the gifts we have go beyond the things we see around us, so we need help seeing what we are really here for
• Even if you don’t believe in God, ask what your part is in this amazing universe.
• Mark shared the story of a kid named Sparky who failed at everything in high school – sports, academics, etc.
• His one talent, as he saw it, was drawing, but he got rejected everywhere.
• He decided to put out his own comic strip, which went on to be the number one comic in the world, Peanuts. Sparky’s real name is Charles Schulz
• He asked himself, “Who am I? What is it that I can do better than anyone?” And just go manifest that.
• Crystal talked about the work we need to do to prepare to be a good asker, which takes belief and a sense of deserving.
• You need to believe that you can ask, and believe that you deserve the answer. This echoes my message around self-love.
• It’s about having a vision for what you want, but also painting the rest of the picture to understand what you need to build to make it a reality
• If you keep asking throughout your journey, your life will be revealed to you as you
• Crystal shared the research that shows that, when you ask a question, a different part of your brain lights up, so you’re bringing more of your mental power into your journey
• Mark shared the rejection story behind Chicken Soup for the Soul, where they received 144 rejections, but he kept pushing to make it a reality, asking a church congregation to sign up to buy the book before there even was a book, effectively crowdfunding the project
• Crystal shared her story of getting married young, then getting divorced with a 2-year-old and nothing to her name
• She was on welfare and food stamps, and decided she wasn’t do her best to change her situation, and made material changes as she asked herself what she could do, what she wanted, and what she needed to put in place to get there.
• She started doing temp work, got her real estate license and became the top seller and did modeling and commercial work, getting her benefits to protect herself and her child just 18 months after the moment she asked herself if she was doing enough
• Crystal shared a surprising stat that, based on their research, 80% of things you ask for get a Yes response. We often go into it thinking the opposite is true!
• They are hosting a free book club for people who get their book that you can sign up for at askthebookclub.com

Links:

• Website: askthebookclub.com, markvictorhansen.com & crystalvisionlife.com
• Book: Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny
• Facebook: @crystaldwyerhansen & @markvictorhansen
• Instagram: @crystaldwyerhansen & @markvictorhansen
• Twitter: @crystaldwyerhansen & @markvictorhansen